Life has thought me so many things, and still teaching me a lot.
Today, I read an article about relationships, and realized this one.
As an Ate to all, the thing I mostly avoid to talk is about relationships. Because I wanted to share that Love can really wait, that we should not pursue romantic love since we are still young.
But as life goes on, as my age goes higher, I realized that maybe, it is now alright to speak up about relationships.
I used to say, “Don’t follow your heart, follow your mind.”, for following our heart may lead us to uncontrollable emotions, we just have to follow our minds, because our minds will lead us to our dreams. Our minds will help us focus on our goals, our priorities and success.
But I was wrong.
Then I said “Follow your heart, at all cost.“, because Love is the greatest of all. Because we all deserved to be loved. Because we need to love and to be loved. No matter what happens, our heart knows where we will be happy.
But I was wrong, again.
Now I say, “Don’t follow your heart. Follow Jesus.” Because no matter what happens, Jesus could remind us the good and bad, Jesus could guide us in every decision we make.
My dear, if you are one of my little sisters who I told, “Guard that relationship of yours.” or, “You are still young, relationships can wait.”, I guess, you are now at your right age (for it has been a long time since someone called me Ate). As for me, I am now also at the right age.
Because of our community was really careful about relationships, it cam e to the point that I have no one to talked to, to asked for advice, and a shoulder to cry on. But I understand, and here are just some thoughts in my mind to remind me that relationships are okay.
1 Embrace relationships.
Relationship is a gift from God. Embrace it with both hands. Invest in it. Spend time with it, entrust our emotions, do not let fear hold us back. Love conquers all, enjoy the relationship.
Go and say whatever you want to say, don’t be shy to say, “Hey, I miss you!”, or “I am so proud of you!!”
It is a gift. Do all you can do while you still can. Show the love. Spread the love.
2 No to blame game.
Whenever you had a fight, always remember to find solution, that you should talk for a solution and not to blame each other. Common issue in a relationship is, “You love me right? then accept me.”, You both enter the relationship in order to grow more for a better person. Accepting, Yes. We should accept them, but don’t tolerate them. There could be the bad traits, this is fact. But both of you should be open-minded that you are in a relationship in order to grow.
The Lord sent your other half to help you become a better person. So listen, and reflect everything on what your partner say.
3 Say even if … instead of what if …
The hurting part of a relationship is saying , “What if …” “What if, we didn’t break?” “What if, I gave all to him?” “What if, I didn’t give up on us? … Maybe I am not this miserable right now.”
Today, I realized that I wanted to stop those “What ifs” in my mind, and start with “Even if”, and ends with I’ll stay.
Even if it takes a 3-hour travel to their house, I’ll stay.
Even if time is always our problem, I’ll stay.
Even if we often see each other now, I’ll stay.
I’ll stay, because I choose to.
Enjoy relationships. Be a better version of yourself. Love wins.
But above all, pray about everything. 🙂