To my 1 Corinthians 13:4

To my Future Partner,

 

Yes, I will and always be waiting for you.

I don’t know who are you, who God destined me to be with, but one thing is for sure, you are loved by me and the Lord.

I may not show my love for you today, but you are always in my prayers.

I pray for your family, that every member of your family is well, keeping the faith to Christ as well, loving and nourishing you.

I pray for your health, that may the strength of the Lord protects you from any sickness and harm that could conquer you.

I pray for your success, that in everything you are doing, may the Lord be always be with you, in your studies, may you pass all your exams.  And if ever you fail, may my warm hug be with you thru prayers.

I pray for your spiritual health as well, may you also pray everyday as much as I do. May your faith be your number one armor in very life battle you are going through.

I also pray that the Lord is preparing you, that in the day we meet, we are both prepared.

I may be with you right now, I am not sure. But always remember, I am praying for you my dear.

Don’t worry my dear, I, myself is also preparing for the day that I can say YES to you.

I also pray that the Lord will lead to His path, will always guide to keep myself and my intentions pure, for you.

I can’t wait for the time when we can both pray together

… when you are beside me and worshiping the Lord.

… when we are both happily for the love we have.

… when we share the same life goals together.

… when we do missions for God, together.

… when we both spread the good news of God.

… when we are both comfortable and in love with our families, both sides.

 

My dear, I don’t know how to express my love for you.

I can wait. I will wait.

For a 1 Corinthians love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

Love,

Ara

We will never be a FATHERLESS Generation.

FATHER –

 

According to Google:

A father is the male parent of a child. Besides the paternal bonds of a father to his children, the father may have a parental legal and social relationship with the child that carries with it certain rights and obligations, although this varies between jurisdictions.

But according to what I have learned and observed, a Father may be defined with 3 P’s. What are those? I’ll explain it later.

 

Our generation is now called a FATHERLESS GENERATION, because of only few of us has a father. With this generation, with pre-marital sex issues, boy who can’t be a man for what he had done, a boy who can’t stand being a father in an early stage, these are the reasons why many of us are fatherless. A man can just go away, but a mother can’t. We all lived in our mother’s womb for 9 months. For 9 months, we felt how we are loved by her, she can’t just take us away in her body. But for a father, yes, he can.

 

Besides of being a biological father, I believe that being a father is not just by blood, but by heart and the responsibilities he accepts for his child.

 

As I said earlier, here are the 3 P’s.

PASTORAL HEAD. 

As the Father is the head of the family, he himself should also be the Pastoral Head of the Family. He should be the one initiating the kids to grow up with the Lord. And not just that, not just by words, but also with actions. There are some fathers who wants to go to church with the family but does not the gospels to their family. As a father, he should be the one nourishing the family, proving and teaching the family of what is wrong and right.

PROTECTOR

As the Father, he should always prioritize the safety of your family. There will always be the questions, “Are you home, son/daughter?”; “Where are you, son/daughter?”, because being a man means protecting your love ones, assuring that they are safe and not just physically but also emotionally. I admire those father who just secure their family if they are okay with every aspects of their lives.

PROVIDER

Here comes the very issue of I think most of the family has. As a father, he should be the one providing all of the needs of his family. He should assure that his family is in the right state. Provide foods for the health, educational needs of the children and of course the shelter. He should be a great provider.

 

Those 3P’s are the ideal identity of a Father. But wait, if your father does not qualify those 3 P’s, it does not mean that he is not a good father. There are some circumstances as well in life that a father could not come up with those characteristics.

I am not telling this to put all the fathers down for those who can’t be the Pastoral head, Protector and Provider.

My father does not reach those qualification as well. Not because he does not wanted to, but because just as I said earlier there some circumstance in life that are unexpected. My father used to be the Pastoral Head of the family, but then our faith was tested. My father used to be the protector, but then our bond as a family was tested that leads to having individual lives. My father used to be our provider, but then he had an heart attack when I was in elementary and stopped to work.

But here is my main point. For those who can’t feel their fathers, who never had the chance to meet their fathers, who thinks their father is useless, this is the only thing I can say:

“Look at the Father above, He is our real father.”  

He is our main Pastoral Head.

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers,do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

He is Protector.

Psalms 91:1

Whoever goes to the Lord for safety,
    whoever remains under the protection of the Almighty,
can say to him,
    “You are my defender and protector.
    You are my God; in you I trust.”

He is Provider.

Philippians 4:19

19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

 

See.

Reflect.

Do you understand that we will never be a Fatherless Generation?

That up there, someone is hearing our cry, someone is comforting us, someone is concern with us, someone is protecting us, someone is providing our needs, and someone is loving us eternally.

For You, Dreamer.

This is for the one who will do everything for the dreams.

This is for the one who keeps on praying just for a dream.

This is for the one who suffer so much for a dream.

This is for the one who let sleepless nights conquere theur lives just for a dream.

This is for the one who almost gave up but thoughly stood up for a dream.

I salute you.

Yes. You.

We all have a dream, but dreams are just goals without plans,

So for you who has a plan and in the process of doing it already, SALUTE.

I have a dream, goal and a plan.

But, am I the only one who suffer so much?

Am I the only one who pour tears in the bathroom whenever hopeless scenario comes?

I know I am not.

I know, I am just one of you, or you are just one of me.

Let us believe.

Most of all,

Let us surrender.

I believed I could, so I did.

Today was just a normal day, but it’s FRIDAAAAAY, and PAYDAAAAAAY.

Waking up in the morning with a headache was one of the worst thing I could ever feel, but what’s worse? It’s waking up with bills in front of you. I woke up with my mom saying, “Bigay mo yung phone bill natin sa ate mo.” And there, now I feel the adulthood stage.

I am 20, but I can’t imagine my life with this one. When I was 14, I wanted to be 20, so I can have a boyfriend with the consent of my parents because I am at the right, I can travel whereever and whenever I wanted to, I can go on roadtrips overnights, I can do whatever I wanted, but now that I am 20, its total different.

Yes, I do have a boyfriend, but because I am 20, we’re both busy living our lives.

Yes, I can travel where ever and whenever I want, but I have to accept the consequence of being terminated with my job because of absences, and I have to accept the guilt of not helpingy parents with our bills.

Yes, I can have the roadtrips I wanted, but i have to suffer on the next day on work being so sleepy.

When we wanted something, it all has the consequence. And I think, this what it takes to be an adult.

While I was on my way to work, I saw a high school student from Bethel Academy and, OH MY, I MISS BEING A STUDENT!!

When I was a student, I have my weekly allowance where I could just buy anything i wanted.

When I was a student, I can just skip classes in order to sleep, or when i am sick.

When I was a student, I can handle my time.

All long, I feel young enough to handle adulthood, but old enough to stay in teenager life.

Sometimes, I question my life, is this the life I wanted? Go to work every Mondays to Saturdays, Pay the bills, Worry for tomorrow, but then, I realized something.

Despite of my complaints, I feel blessed.

Blessed to have the strength for everyday work.
Blessed to have this work.
Blessed with the opportunity to support myself.
Blessed with the places I’ve been through.
Blessed to go on roadtrips and still has the strength for the next day.
Blessed to have a supportive boyfriend who is also busy with his career.
Blessed to have the ever loving family.

Alog my way to work, I stare in the kirror, what I saw was a matured woman. And I thank the Lord for this.

From this very moment, I realized that everything is a blessing, everything was put in my life to make me ready, to train me, to prune me. And I thank God for His ways.

When I thought, I have nothing as an achievement, I realized I have everything.

I believed I could so I did.

To believe means not just believing in yourself, but also believing in our God.

To more achievements to come.

For my work, more and more strength for everyday, and opportunities to grab on.

For my lovelife, more patience for us my dear. Someday we’ll reach our dreams.

For my health, yes, I wish someday I could also say, I believed I could have a fit body, so I did. (claiming for gym moments)

For my service, more callings and seeking the Lord.

I will never stop with believing

, so I could always say,

I believed I could, so I did.”

For more dates!

Thank you, my love.

This past few weeks has been a challenge for us, oh hello there Distance, Time and Communication, thank you for keeping us strong.

He just turned 22 last week! And yey, for our celebration.

One Saturday, I went straight from work to their home, (Bailen), 2 hour travel from my workplace, and surprised him.

And on his birthday, we had a simple, movie and pizza date, as this is our favorite things to do.

The moment when we are about to go separate ways, I prayed, “Lord, someday, I wish we don’t have to say goodbye, only good nights.”

I feel really weird being inlove.

Really  really, really weird.

I just don’t understand why I can see him in ny future.
I just don’t understand why I want him by ny side, ALWAYS.
I just don’t understand why I enjoy holding his hand while walking.

I don’t understand why the things I doesn’t like seems to be different now.

I am afraid.
But he is worth taking the risk. :’)

LOOK. STAY. SHARE.

image

LOOK. STAY. SHARE.

I don’t know if my friends would know that I’m not okay, when in fact, I am really not.

It took weeks for me to blog about this one because I have to process it in my heart and mind.

Yes, I was over with our Mission Volunteer phase 1 training. But before my interview, I was really finding and seeking for clear answers from the Lord.

After months of discerning, I still can’t get what God’s answers to me, what He wants me to do.

While waiting for my turn, I pray harder, it was 8:00 and I still haven’t eaten my dinner, but instead of feeding my hungry stomach, I was led to Fullybooked forbunknown reasons.

Then for a moment, I knew the reason. Of all the books in the Biblical session, this book was the only one open for reading, all about DISCERNMENT.

When I read it, I think I saw myself in the character.

His story was abiut being a missionary, he discerned, and he believed God put him to the mission for the poor, but after months, he knew he was not called there. He’s a rich one, he didn’t found comfort in the poor place, he can’t stand not having a hot shower, soft bed, delicious food, he can’t, despite of the joy in mission.

For all he know, he was not called to be there, the joy wasn’t there, so he went home for a short break, and as he pray in the chapel, a girl approached him, and invited him for a mission for the disabled. By that moment, he found joy, he stayed, and shared what God has imparted in him.

The moment I was reading it, I saw a clear message from him, that I believed, God wants me to do in my situation.

LOOK. STAY. SHARE.

I am lost, with the religion I have. I am not a pure Catholic, but I am entering a Catholic mission, which is a total misleading. With my 7 years of serving our community, I didn’t embrace all of it. I was raised as an Aglipayan and believed in Christian beliefs because of my elementary school.

I was reminded by that story, I shouldn’t force myself when I am not really called there, but I should try because maybe, my heart was there.

LOOK for yourself; STAY with the Lord; and SHARE it to others.

I won’t be selfish, but right now, I felt like I don’t belong in this community. To the fact that no one ever asked me “Kamusta ka na?” And no one ever said, “Miss ka na namin, Ara”.

Looking for myself and standing up for my belief is what I wanted now.
And I am blogging this though no one cares because exactly, no one cares, tgis is the only output I could have.

Philippians 1:3

image

I thank God every time I remember you.

Who could have imagine that after years of waiting and praying I am now happily in a relationship with a man of God?

There’s no words to describe how much I feel blessed since we started dating.

Yes, of course, we are not a perfect couple. We don’t do relationship goals, we don’t brag about each other in our social media accounts, we don’t do sweet things, but I am certain with him, for he is my bestfriend.

We do wierd things, yes.

But most of all, I am proud to say, we pray for each other though we differ in religions, we reach our dreams together though my dreams are apart from his dreams and we support each other.

I wanted to share this all because of the *kilig* my friend felt when I was sharing a bit of our story.

He was my best friend. And it took years of discernment if we are going to risk our friendship.

We once hurt each other because of expectations and disappointments.

We were two very different person.

Our status of living is way too far from each other. I lived with all my needs and wants are in front of me, while he lived oppositely to mine.

I am the type of person who wants solution right away, while he is the type of person who thinks deep before acting.

I care about my self issues only, but he cares about country issues, so much.

I am Catholic. He is protestant.

I am in College of Business. He is in College of Engineering.

He lives 40km away from me, supposedly 1 and a half hour of travel without traffic, but it ussually took 2-4 hours, because of scheduled jeepney trips on their area.

To tell you, he never gave me a flower, chocolates or teddy bear. All he gave me was a song number and letters because of financial issues.

Some would ask me, “Why him?” All because he doesn’t match my living status. And I just always replies with, “Why not him?”

Have you ever encountered someone who would eagerly be thrift for himself just to save money to go for you?

Have you ever encountered someone who would risk taking the last trip or sometimes the tought of he can miss the last trip just because he wanted to spend more time for you?

Have you encountered someone with so much dreams, that all he was hoping for is Christ?

Someone who would offer you nothing but prayer?
Someone who is a family-man?

These were just few things of the “why him”s in this world.

I also wanted to share you about our recent happenings in our relationship.

He started reviewing for his board exam, and “time” is really our problem. But its okay since we’re achieving our goals.

How fulfilling our lives could be?
In every conversation we had, it is all about our dreams, all about encouraging ourselves to do better, to dream more for ouselves, and also for Lord.

What more greatness could I feel of someone sending me verses every morning?
Someone who would need my help when he needs to do an outline for a youth preach?

He is my “Be, I have a preaching next day, come and pray for me” in this world full of “Be, I have a game next day, come and cheer for me”.

Indeed,

I THANK GOD EVERYTIME I REMEMBER YOU.

Love has to be Mutual.

Lately, I’ve been wondering, what if one day, I woke up with the sunrays kissing my face, and not feeling anything at all? What if one day, I can’t feel love anymore? What if one day, I am not inlove anymore? What if one day, I don’t love him anymore?

The worst feeling I’ve experience is the feeling of not loved and not loving anymore. It feels like I am empty inside and out. I am just living for a living. I am just doing things because I need so, not because of doing so out of love. I am afraid of that feeling would come back and I could feel the emptiness once again. An empty heart leads me to an empty life; that no matter how people exerted effort just to make me feel loved, I still feel unloved.

These past few days, I felt like I am an empty glass who needs to be filled with wine serving as the grace of the Lord. I was lost, once again. And I am tired of feeling this way. With my life style of dating every other day, empowering others to love and ensuring others that they are loved, I think I need myself right now. I need to do those things for myself, I need myself to remember how to love again, how to feel loved and how to bring me back to track, to the addiction of loving.

There comes a point when I ask myself, “You were always asking somebody to love and love you, but who are you going to love?”

I don’t know. I tried asking for dates for people; I tried asking for time for people; I tried begging for ones-to-ones; unknowingly there is the One who always wait for me to come back.

I was finding love in the wrong place.

I forgot, I am in a relationship.
I forgot and I was lost out of fear of not being loved.

How can I not be loved if there is the One who sacrificed His life for me?”

Love must be mutual.
As much love as God has for us, He wants us to love Him with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. Our relationship with Him cannot stand on His love alone. We have to love Him in return. This is why He poured His love into our hearts by His Spirit so we can love Him and others like He loves us.

“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:5

We were so eager to find love in others, we were so afraid that we are not able to love, but it took courage to love, and knowledge to know that God has imparted love in our hearts through the Holy Spirit.

We feel lost because we are in a wrong way.
Our minds are being invaded with the wrong thoughts.
We tend to look love, not realizing we are in a one sided love. And all we have to do is to return the love we received to the one who never fails.
By His unfailing love, undeserved grace and unending favor to us, may we feel that the only love we have to feel in order to know that we are complete is the God’s love.

Love has to be mutual.
If God loved us so, then we have to love Him back.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear…” 1 John 4:18

Our love must be greater than our fears. So many of us live with fear of being hurt or fear of hurting, so we avoid close and intimate relationships with anyone. But what if Jesus feared being hurt, disappointed or used? What if He feared hurting His disciples? If He operated in fear, we would not have such a great example to model.

Some of us have given up on experiencing unconditional love in a human being. We know Jesus loves us and will never leave us, but many can’t say that about people. Even if we’ve never experienced unconditional love from a human being, don’t let that stop us from being what we desire to see. Make a choice to receive God’s perspective on relationships. Choose to have an impact on those God has placed in your life. 

Today, my only prayer for the Lord if to help me on being faithful to His love, to remind me of His love, to never question His love and to act and feel like I was loved by the most amazing Man. I praise and thank the Lord for giving me the grace of love.

What are we living for?

What are we living for?

The question that binds my mind when I saw my grandmother lying on the hospital bed with no strength and like it is already her end.

What is she living for?

Right now as I am typing this, I am sitting on a blue vintage sofa waiting for her 2D echo to be done. I had the time to reflect.

What is she fighting for?

What is life if you can’t live with it? Why can’t you give up life? She’s in pain. And for me, I would rather see her at peace than seeing her like this. But why?

I remembered when I was high school, my grandfather died. But before he died, we struggled. Sleepless nights, emotionally drained, moneyless pockets and physically down. He was a bedridden back then. And the fact that he was a guy seems a little hit awkward for me. I experienced taking good care of him. During my lunch time, I need to go home to feed him. He may be naughty but sweet at some point. Every time I feed him with soft foods, he is asking me first if I already ate. He wants me to eat first before him. I go straight home as soon as the classes end because I want see him. And every morning as I wake up, I need to clean his bedsore, feed him, ready his medicines and even to clean up his poop. Yes, I did that. And I wish I could expalin to you how bad the smell is, but I bet you would want to know. I missed him.

And back to my question, what are they still living for? They are still not in peace seeing their family suffer.

When my grandfather feels he can die anytime, he had a roll call in our family. From my grandmother to his daughters and son, up to his grandchildren. We assured him that we will be okay. So he can now rest.

When my grandfather died, there was no one in his room.

With this thought, I realized that a person is living for his love ones.
We all live to secure that every person we love is safe as we left.
After all, we all live beacause of love.
We all fight because of love.
We all endure because of love.

We love because He first loved us.

We love the life He has given us. Choose to live the life while we are young. And choose the life that would never regret from living; a life that loves. Because to sum it all, as grow older, the ones we love will be the one who’ll remain with us. It is not the places we’ve been through, not the new gadgets we bought, not the possesions we had but the people we loved.

It is the love that matters.

After all these time, love conquers all, sickness, hardships and struggles. It is love that keeps us alive.

Love more!